Some days I feel so so lonely, I imagine others seem to think this also. I've never been in love with anyone or had a realationship with someone. No gf or anything, it's trippy my mind is quite independent but in reality I'm a dependent. I've never really trust myself to be ok with what I'm doing with my life things seem to get boring very easily. Sometimes I don't even try, that scares me more than anything succeeding. I'm in a rut I'm not educated, NOT DUMB but NOT EDUCATED! I've accomplished eally anything I've set to do. It's time for me to let go and open myself up. Maybe I'll learn more by having a partner. I'm pretty much a only child all I've known is being able to talk, or play games with myself. Make my own entertainment which was mostly wasted laying on the couch watching tv. This was only if I wasn't playing,practicing or doing something for softball;Most likely u could catch me on the couch eating.


Ok, what can I give and what do I want, are questions I ask myself everyday. Sometimes I feel like I worth good things but most of the time I shrugg it off because I'm scared. This is dragging me down I'm almost 23 and I've seen and experienced some life but not what I really want. My Id knows, silently hidden waiting to be triggered .Sometimes truth can be so overwhelming, it's a huge wait to carry. WE all carry something. Sometimes though people don't see the truth or let it sink in. They deny themsleves this pleasure. I'm almost becoming like that so I can hit rock bottom. Because once u hit bottom the only way is up right? I think this but NO that's not right to think. The decisions, I make in my life should be better because I'm worth it. Remember this. I tell myself but it's hard take advise, you give to others.

I'm just writing wherever it takes me. I'll hopefully become better in my future.