A good laugh

This sent to me from a dear friend enjoy.

Step away from the beer no one wil get hurt!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back....or that you could
crawl into a hole?

Here are the testimonials of a few people who did.........

FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my
husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How
much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went
back. My husband didn't say a word.....he knew
better.


2. While in line at the bank one
afternoon, my toddler decided to release some
pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if
she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye
and said in a voice just as threatening "if you
don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that
I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The
silence was deafening after this enlightening
exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were
doing. I mustered up the last bit of m y dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The
last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.

3. Have you ever asked your child a
question too many times? My three-year-old son had a
lot of problems with potty training and I was on him
constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a
quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy,
with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I
smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I
realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in
awhile, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he
said "No". I kept thinking, "Oh, Lord! That child
has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes
with me." Then I said, "Danny are you SURE you
didn't have an accident?" "No", he replied. I just
KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the
smell was getting worse. So, I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he
jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and
spread his cheeks and yelled, "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST
FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on
their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants
and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by
thanking me for the best laugh they'd had in ages.

4. This had most of the state of
Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed
female news anchor who will, in the future, likely
think before she speaks. What happens when you
predict snow but don't get any.....a true story....
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it
was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to
the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8
inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE
have to leave the set, but half the crew did too,
they were laughing so hard!

5. When I was in 8th grade I had to say a speech for
black history month. I chose a poem by Langston Hughes,
in the beginning of the poem it says," I'm a negro, black
as the night is black, black as my depths of africa." Well
say that at the end also. I was real nervouse so I slipped
and said, " I'm a Nigger ..............". I paused for a minute than
I was like I called myself a nigger in front of my whole school.
I started laughing before I i could finish the rest of the sentence.
It was quite embarrassing.

Yeah, my school had like 5 black kids and it was real funny.
I still could face my friends and everybody, I'm pretty laid-back
and thought it was hilarous that word came out my mouth. Ocean


Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone
you know who needs a laugh.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because
those who mind don't matter and those who matter
don't mind"