Don't tell anyone

Well let's see I come to realize that I now have no interest in anything,other than myself and someone else. I rarely talk to family and friends back home. Ii have nothing to talk about and they couldn't be doing anything different than working. I have one of the most relaxed jobs, I may ever have but I'm so tired of doing my bosses work. I've had that happen to me atleast 3 times in my career as a slacker, who only wants to play outside and read aloud. To all the customers. I am little loopy this morning, I wish the bus was running so I could go to the gym. I don't know how to drive. And am tired of being stuck on this base. I'm tired of them talking about Condoleeza Rice. Let her be! So she lied I thought all people in Politics lied? She's one hell of smart woman. A Stanford grad and child prodigy. I am not much for the Bush administration but I love when Donald Rumsfield does briefing, I admire him in a secret way( Don't tell anyone). Go Cardinals! Yes, Stanford my favorite school ever!

My friends are quite liberal, they hated when I said I probably would vote for Bush. They're still my friends :) But why would I vote for kerry, what reason did he give me to vote. I would have voted for well, Howard Dean or Kucinoch, but they wouldn't be great commanders. Imao. But it turns out I didn't vote, My ballot well never sent to me. I suppose maybe I could have got another but I really didn't want to get a ballot and decide who I would vote for. I not a bush supporter or a hater. I do like making fun of him and his administration but I would make fun of any administration. Plus i was never in town, see I worked at this camp called Camp Namanu. It's a camp that's rented for outdoor school like a science camp or something. I was a cook, but anyways. I would live there for the week, come back fridays and go back sundays. I did this for like 7 weeks until the end of the session. Remember I don't drive.Well during that time the election was going on. And since we have mail in ballots, I really didn't want to spend my 36 hrs of off time, looking how to get my ballot so I decided not to vote. Yeah, I know I didn't vote. I figured Bush would win anyways and I didn't really want to fill the bubble in for Bush. I guess maybe if Kerry won I would have been tragically sad and protested me a balck woman didn't get my ballot. sniff sniff! Well bush is prez now. I do feel he is a better commander chief than Kerry would ever be. Yes, I am a Oregonian. Not a Hippie! Even though I do associate with some. I associated with many people, I don't really like to catorgize them though.

I lost, really having a opinion a long time ago, I suppose it started when I started smoking pot. WHich was when I was 15, yeah 15, what was I thinking? Marijuana was a curiosity one I knew if I tried that it would be something I would do for awhile. I studied drugs when i was in middle school, don't ask me why, it was something I came across in the library. A book about 'drugs'. Well, anyways I looked down at people who used drugs, I thought it was silly. At that time I wanted to be in law enforcement or join the secret service(they recruit) or F.E.M.A. So all that stuff was illegal and I was like those bastard who do illegal stuff.

Well somewhere between my father getting a divorce, moving to a different area and going to highschool. My thoughts of the world changed,( poor me, sniff sniff) Lol. So no more smart kid, I became the rebel kid! And there stalled my dreams. But hey, it's made me 'today.' I defeintely still want to join F.E.M.A.( Homeland Security now). I probably will someday. The force is strong. To tell you now, you don't really need to do drugs, or sell your soul to the devil to fit in. (My soul wasn't sold) I knew if I tried any drugs it would be a problem and I decided I would have to deal with that.- Dude, athletes don't do stuff that messes with lungs. Softball rules! Like I've dreamed so much about my life, I always have Deja Vu. It's so weird! Well anyways my life is great even when it sucks, oxy-----. I'm glad I smoked pot even though I went off track a little, I have had some great conversations. I'm not a writer but superb conversationalist. One of my best strengths. Don't tell anyone but I like to be contradicting sometimes. It's fun. I know what I'm passionate about, it's just hard to explain in writing for me. Well since i have to be at work in 3 hrs I suppose i should get some sleep. Don't tell anyone but I'm wandering a little. I am still learning more about myself. And don't do drugs, don't waste you happiness! Yeah, you'll never be as happy as you once were. The dopamine levels go down and down.

"Let the wise guard their thoughts, which are difficult to perceive, extremely subtle, and wander at will. Thought which is well guarded is the bearer of happiness." Buddha

"Things said or done long years ago,
Or things I did not do or say
But thought that I might say or do,
Weigh me down, and not a day
But something is recalled,
My conscience or my vanity appalled."
William Butler Yeats

This post comes from a gifted, creepy( yes creepy),passive-aggressive person who hasn't seemed to let it click in, she will someday be great. Make the right decisions though. Keep a Smile on your face! They love my smile.